I have to confess to something….
I, Jeanette Arsenault, have turned into a TED Talk junkie.
Yes, alas, I am addicted and have created a document with all sorts of links to specific videos that caught my interest on their Youtube channel.
Why am I paying big $$ for one channel (CNN) + $$ for Netflix when there are enough fascinating, mind-blowing, interesting FREE TEDTalk videos on YouTube? Am still mulling over that one….
When you spend a lot of time alone (by choice and by need) because your daughter is *gone too soon*, you have this HUGE empty hole in your life. The silence can be thundering. And the silence hurts because the need to fill that hole is constant and urgent and all pervasive.
There is a great need for sound/noise to fill that void.
So I fill in my time creating slideshow videos, writing, working on Kait’s Comfort Kits,volunteering behind the scenes, keeping my music career afloat online (iTunes, Amazon, Spotify, etc), managing my music career (thankfully my years of creating music is paying off with ongoing incoming royalties – I’ve always called it passive income because all the work to create/record/promote the songs is done and I don’t have to expend any more income or much energy. The only energy I need to expend is to find ways to promote them. Or create my videos to give them new life).
I continue writing down thoughts and ideas for the books that are waiting to pour out of me. I think I am heading in that direction.
I am kind of in an observational stage of my life – I can clearly see how I am running as fast as I can to try to escape pain, to be as busy as humanly possible to avoid feelings, working from the time I get up to the time my eyes just can’t stay open anymore.
Then suddenly, without warning, I get snatched back into that place of darkness and pain with zero energy, exhausted, overwhelmed, over-peopled, overworked (my self-awareness can see that it’s all self-inflicted ).
Not sure what I can do about it, how it will change, what it will look like going forward, you know, that “new normal” thing they talk about.
So there are actually a few ways that I have constant sound happening in my place – cable TV or Netflix or TEDTalks plus a wide variety of music that I listen to for the slideshow videos I create. I am really enjoying rediscovering some of my favourite songs in my CD collection – yes I still have CDs.
Lately, I am enjoying more and more classical music as I work with Quinte Society for Chamber Music and discover a musical genre that I only know as a classical musicophile as I call it – I like classical music but I don’t know much about it.
Now about this video I am posting today – during the last few weeks in the hospital, Kait and I talked a lot about our fascination with astrophysics. We laughed that when she got better we would be a mother/daughter duo in a University Physics course (I’d be looking over her shoulder at her notes cuz she was brilliant at math/calculus etc).
I want to say “this one is for you, Kait!” but she already knows everything by now. See you on the “continuum” one day my sweet Kait XO