Photo by Kait Shannon ©2014 Ottawa Canada
It’s been a long haul these past 2 years with an unexpected major life changing event that knocked me back and kept me out of music & life’s fast moving pace. Losing a child is inexplicable and unimaginable – something you have to experience to understand and I would never want you to experience it to understand.
Photo © Norma Langrish
Learning to cope, to heal, to get back up and on your feet is a process that takes as long as it takes. Hiding away from it all or keeping so busy you don’t have time to think/feel or drowning yourself in addictive habits are all ways of trying to cope with a pain that is unlike any other pain you have ever experienced. I chose to hide away in a dark place with a brief manic period of non-stop work then back to solitude.
Standing up, moving forward, sliding back, standing back up again, moving forward, walking slowly, stopping, moving forward – all part of the new normal. You don’t determine the new normal – it presents itself and you learn how to live in the new normal.
So for now, I am writing music profiles for a couple of organizations and am in the midst of starting up a new business venture which I will announce sometime mid-March. It’s allowing me to move forward at my own pace and pulling me out of a place of great sadness.
My song, This Is My Canada/Mon cher Canada, is moving along all on its own – I call it “The Little Song That Could”. It has surpassed 330,000 YouTube views with no promotion or marketing. It has taken on a life of its own and I am happy to see that it can stand on its own. Those YouTube views are real views by word of mouth. Doesn’t get any better than that.
To all my family, friends, fans and supporters – your constant loving support kept me from drowning so so many times. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being patient with me, waiting for me to emerge and never giving up on me. There is no easy way around this kind of grief. You have to walk through it, experience the worst kind of pain you have ever felt and learn to find peace, harmony & serenity.
I promise to be more active on my website with updates and news. You can also view updates on Kait’s Comfort Kits by clicking on the tab in the upper righthand corner of my website. These Kits are her legacy and bring some comforts of home to patients in some cancer palliative care units. To date, over 300 Kits have been delivered.
Please feel free to leave a comment below – I always love to hear from you.
Peace & blessings. Jeanette
The road is always exciting. Enjoy the journey. Mike and I welcome you back.
Thank you Tee & Michael! Look forward to a nice cuppa tea when you are up for it XO
Looking forward to hearing about your new adventure. Sometimes it is challenging to admit moments of joy and excitement are happening because it makes one feel guilty. But we are allowed them. When I see another mom make this progress, it gives me hope. I’m not glad that either of us are on this journey, but I’m glad to not be on it alone. Blessings, sister Ruth.
Hi Virginia – yes there is guilt for sure but I finally get it when people tell me she would want me to be happy. We all help each other on this journey we never ever thought we’d be on. And yes, I too am glad to not be on it alone. Mom to Mom hugs and blessings to you XO
Jeanette
You are one of the strongest women I have ever met. You have faced unimaginable grief and it is really nice to see you slowly climbing out of the abyss. Kait lives on through the legacy you both created. What an amazing gift!
Hugs my friend💜
Hi Ronnie – you know what it means to have to be strong when you don’t think you can be. Remember what Bob Marley said: “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice”. I so appreciate your participation in Kait’s Comfort Kits with the Norwex cloths XO
Bonjour ma belle Jeanette, le deuil qu’un parent vit suite à la perte d’un enfant est immense, et parfois insurmontable. Tu as respecté tes limites pour pouvoir t’en sortir peu à peu. Je t’admire beaucoup. Saches que tu es toujours dans mes prières et je demande à Kait et au Seigneur de veiller sur toi pour continuer à te donner la force et le courage pour foncer de l’avant. 🙏🏻
Bonjour ma belle amie – tu me manques. Je pense à toi et la famille souvent – on doit faire des plans pour se rencontrer pour une belle tasse de thé lors du printemps. Merci pour tes gentils mots encourageants – je t’embrasse fort XO
Powerful message straight from the heart of an amazing lady. So eloquently expressing how grief grabs hold and creates a whole new “normal”. We will continue to send loving support always. So incredibly proud of all you are and all you do
Hello my dear friend – thank you for your encouraging words and never ending loving support. Time for that cup of tea isn’t it. XO
Absolutely. Let’s do this sometime soon.
Yes! Spring is around the corner and soon no snow, sleet or slush to hold us back! XO
A very moving read. You are very inspiring as is your story.
Thank you! I appreciate your kind words.
Moving forward. So hard after the hurt and pain but your light is strong. You have summed it up and I know you will forge ahead. Kait is always with you. Blessings.
Thank you, Sid. I feel Kait very strongly these days – like a surge of power every once in a while. I am also finally ready to accept that she wants me to be happy. I get it now. Blessings to you and Lenni XO
Dear Cousin Jeanette,
Glad to hear you are beginning to feel better. Grieving is a long and painful road. I think we never stop grieving, we just learn to live with it and the pain isn’t so intense. May your memories bring you comfort.
Take care,
Aletha (daughter of you Great Aunt Rita)
Hello dear cousin! Nice to connect with you here – you are so right. I will never stop having the pain of losing my daughter – it really is a matter of finding ways to cope. Some days are better than others. Appreciate your kind words XO
I am so moved by your strength and tenacity after such an unimaginable loss. My heart goes out to you, old friend.
Thank you Lorna – it’s a continuing journey filled with a lot of emotions that rise and subside. With time, you learn how to subdue the rise of emotions when in public which was my biggest challenge. I’m better at it now. And I talk to her all the time. XO
One step at a time, one day at a time….you are a remarkable woman and I’m proud to call you my friend.
Keep on keeping on!💕💕
Hi Beatrice – that’s exactly right. No two days are ever the same and you learn to deal with emotions that spill out sometimes when you least expect it. You certainly live a true authentic human experience. Thank YOU my friend for being on this journey with me and for your loving support. XO
dear Jeannette sorry that you are going through all of this it certainly not easy for sure I will always rememberthe words my mom said to me when i lost my brother at an early age she said i never thought I would lose a child before her or dad its been rough road for you I,m sure please know you are in my thoughts big hugs are sent to you take care keep in touch Claudette
Thanks, Claudette – so sorry for your family’s loss. It’s devastating for everyone for sure. Hugs for you XO
Thank you for sharing your story. Glad you have been carried by loving friends and faith.
Thank you, David. Thank God for God as I always say. And for my family, friends and community too.
Rejoicing with you as you move forward. Your courage and honesty in sharing the pain of your grief and the journey it is taking you on has helped so many. May you be blessed in HIm.
Hi Valencia – sharing my journey helps me to heal and is a kind of therapy in itself. You are all God with skin – love that expression. XO
The darkness can be overwhelming. I am so glad you have had support and love through th pain. Yours is a talent that should not be shut down.
I spent a lot of time in darkness – seeking peace, serenity and healing. So many have been like beacons of light that kept my path lit for me when I was ready to move forward again. And continue to prop me up when I fall back. I appreciate you and all who have helped me on this journey – you’ve helped with Kait’s legacy and nothing touches my heart more. XO
Jeanette, Kait is waiting for you to live large for her, with her, telling you there’s eternity together even now, where she is living with you, through you, in you. It’s more than okay to live even through the pain that gives us our new normals. Big hugs!
Hi Sandra – I finally feel that. Many have told me before but I was not ready to hear it. Eternity keeps me hopeful! Sending you big Mom to Mom hugs, love & blessings XO
Very inspirational. I have shared on facebook.
Thanks, Jan! Best to you XO
So glad to see you are returning to life and planning a new venture. I know Kait would be proud of your resilience. One day at a time. Cheers to your success!
Thanks, Mary – one day at a time indeed. There is a whole new way of seeing life when you live in the now and live mindfully. And I saw a lot more of things in life at this slowed-down pace that I had missed in my zoom zoom days – that’s new for me!
Your continuing journey brings encouragement to others, knowing they’re not alone.
Excited to see your next adventures unfold for you.
Love ya! 💕XO
Thanks Michelle – knowing we are not alone is a tremendous part of healing. When you are down/depressed/devastated it’s easy to feel all alone, like no one understands you and all you see is life through an altered state of mind. Thank God for God and my God glue, too. Kept me together when my life fell apart. Love you too! Tea time again soon my friend XO
Very nice Jeanette ! that must have taking a lot of sweat and love to pull this off !
Thanks, Stephen – it’s a different way of living that’s for sure. 2 steps forward, 5 back, 6 forward, stand still. It’s just the way it is and you learn to cope. And do what you can and rest when you need. And great encouraging words from wonderful friends.
Hello Jeanette. You are a bright star in our lives. Memories remain. Lives continue. Stronger for events that are life. Our families would want and deserve no less. Looking forward to your ventures and continuation. Thank you for all you do and who you are. Take care. -Alex
Hi Alex – very kind of you to say! Yes we are made stronger even when we feel at our weakest. You truly learn to prioritize and let go of the “should’s” in your life. By sharing your deepest pain, you connect with people in a different more meaningful way. I could not do this on my own – and I could never thank enough those who have helped me, been patient with me, been encouraging and in the hardest times, let me talk non-stop and let it all out. For people who think “I don’t know what to say” when someone is going through a tremendous loss – trust me. You don’t have to say anything. Just sit, listen and keep a big box of kleenex next to you. Best to you.