Today marks 5 years since Kait started on her new journey. She visits me regularly and has her own ways of making me notice her presence. It’s usually something unusual which is totally her. Makes me smile.
I miss her madly
I am getting use to our new way of travelling together but 5 years already? It seems like forever ago and yet just like a moment ago all at the same time.
A few weeks ago, I felt the darkness finally start to lift and know it’s time to pick up and keep going. People say “she would want you to be happy” but when you grieve such a deep pain-beyond description, you simply can’t process that phrase. Grieving is not just crying – it also includes a sense of guilt that if you “move on” and try to pick up your life again, you are betraying them.
I can finally process it. I am not “moving on”. I never will. But I am moving forward and she is beside me, with me and all around me. I can see that & accept it now.
Strange how a few days after I came to this realization, a number of projects came to me out of the blue – including a gig this summer on the East Coast. It’s not public yet but I will be sharing the news soon.
2 other projects have also come my way. And just last night, another one. Now I know why they say “hit the road running” and not “hit the road crawling” – it’s like life is saying: Hey! Welcome back – let’s go!!!
Special thanks to Gerry Fraiberg for editing this video clip which is part of a longer video we put together for Kait’s birthday in 2017. The concept for My Daughter, My Friend was conceived by Carolyn Grondin for her daughter, Cara. Carolyn graciously allowed me to reword her poem into a song.