What is it about the power of a child’s hug or a child’s smile that melts away stress, depression, feeling down, grieving the loss of your own child?
Look at this beautiful photo of my “other” daughter Polly’s 2 children (she chose that word over “stepdaughter” and I love it). Her children are radiant, innocent, full of life and mostly full of promise for tomorrow.
When you are grieving the loss of your child, at first you don’t even want to see tomorrow. Then you go into a phase where you will accept tomorrow but don’t care what it brings or looks like. Then you go into a phase where you keep yourself super busy so that you can get through today and jump/leap/land on tomorrow. Which becomes the new today. So then you slip into a phase of not caring about today or tomorrow.
And then there is the phase where you think you have to get your act together and start a “new normal” to shape the tomorrows to come. But you get overwhelmed and slip back into the dark. Because you have NO IDEA what “new normal” looks like. You can’t even imagine it because you are living day to day trying to keep yourself out of the dark and not going to the polar opposite end of super crazy manic busy.
And then you see these bright, shiny, pure little beings who call you “Mémé J” because your other daughter wants them to know you as being part of their lives. And Polly’s mother, “Mémé Mary” encourages it and is also part of the healing journey along with Polly’s brother, my stepson, Micah (our joke when he was little was always “what does stepmother mean? And he would reply “It means you step all over me” and we would both roar with laughter.)
Feeling blessed for the people on my healing journey – family, extended family, friends, colleagues. Appreciating how you let me step back when I need to but are always near letting me know you are just a call or a message away.
Hug your children, appreciate them and let some of the little stuff go.
Oh my goodness! You are a blessing in our all our lives! We love you!!
Love all so much!!! Can’t wait to see you for some long overdue BIG hugs 💛💖💙💚
Thank you for this gentle affirmation that grief is personal and unique; there is no normal.
And that children are wonderful, and by that I mean they fill us with wonder, and hope.
So true – there is no “normal” and I so agree that children are “wonder-full”. And good for the heart ❤️
A beautiful reflection, Jeanette, though the phases come and go and double back on themselves for no apparent reason …. day by day by day … ❤️💜
You just never know what to expect….or when. Hits you out of the blue. One day you are fine and think you are finally moving forward, slowly but still forward. Then you get slammed back and stand there in bewilderment because you didn’t see it coming. And you thought you were ready to be steadier on your feet. Not yet that’s for sure.❤️💜
Jeanette you amaze me. I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through. I think of you often and fondly. Love, Eleana.
I would never be able to explain it to you, Eleana. And may you never ever go through it to have to understand. Sending love to all of you XO
True indeed. Today, tomorrow, up, down, positive, hopeless, depressed .. all out in the wind and we don’t know what’s gonna land on us today. You said it well. Children are our mini Ruths.
I am so sorry that you understand so well what it’s like, Virginia and reach out to you with a huge Mom to Mom heart hug for you and your family XO